My daughter, Caroline, had been back living and working from home for the past several months. She witnessed firsthand the difficulty I was going through. Many days she would ask if I wanted to go for a walk or take a drive to our favorite Goodwill store. When I’m in a good place, I jump at the chance to do these things with her. But not then. I was just not up for it.
When I declined, it was the look on her face, her words, and the
way she said them that gave me great comfort. She didn’t give me a pitiful look like, “Mom, really?” Nor was it a look of exacerbation or frustration like, “I’m tired of asking” or, “Can’t you meet me halfway?”
I came to find such solace in her invitations even when I knew I could not oblige. The grace she showed me helped me to feel a little bit closer to when I could say yes. She kept extending the invitation. I didn’t feel pressured.
I’m not sure how much time would pass in between, but each time she did, no matter what my response, I felt calmed. She accepted that I knew what was best for me at that moment. She assured me that she would be there when I was ready. She didn’t even speak those words out loud; it was the way she conveyed those sentiments by the kindness in her eyes and the smile on her face.
I am overwhelmed with feelings of such love and joy – in the way all five of my children, each in their own way, helped me move through the pain of December. Because Caroline was in my home, she had the opportunity to accompany me in a unique way. She gave me something that I had not expected. I have this picture of my sweet Caroline in my mind. I see the look on her face and hear the tone in her voice, and I feel it.
Love. That’s what I want to be to others.
What does it look like when someone accompanies you in the way you need?
#accompaniment #burden #gratitude
